spin me 'round
by keep my issues drawn
Summary: And suddenly it's so blindingly obvious that it's him—that's it's always been him. —Neville/Victoire/Teddy, with an impossible choice and questions that make your world turn into a never-ending blur. For the Seven Challenges Competition, and for Amy.


for the seven challenges competition, round 1. credit for discovery of the pairing victoire/neville goes to mew (mew-tsubaski) and vic/nev is a m&mwp.

dedicated to amy (and it feels like finally) bc i love her and i don't know how long it will take for me to write that viola/todd, so here you go! :)

i appreciate all favourites that i get but i'd really love it if reviewed as well as favouriting.

* * *

You can't remember how it all started.

How you turned from perfect Victoire into… _this. _

How did you turn from that into the girl who skips all Herbology classes and hangs out with the guys she knows she just shouldn't hang out with, just for the thrill of it? The girl who stands right at the edge of the Astronomy Tower and who isn't really quite sure that she'd care if she fell.

How did everything turn upside down and turn you into the girl who drinks late at night and parties and doesn't care that she's cheating on her out-of-Hogwarts boyfriend with guys who don't mean a _thing _to her?

And how did everything get so messed up in your head that you're not sure whether it's the alcohol or the colossal amount of thoughts in your head that make the world spin so fast you can't even figure out what you're doing?

You don't know.

(Except, of course, you do.)

.

It's a twinkle in his eye and the way he looks at you across a room full of people. It's the way that he holds you when you cry and that he's the only one really who sees you for who you are—

The only one who really cares and who doesn't care if your nose is streaming and your mascara is smudged and your hair is stuck to your scalp in the pouring rain—

The only one who kisses you like he really truly means it and says your name like it's the only name that he's ever going to say again—

And he's not Teddy.

Teddy is away, now. He's working on some kind of project with Rolf Scamander—always the naturalist, Teddy—and you're at Hogwarts and he wasn't there.

And you found someone else.

You didn't mean to, you swear. It's just that you were crying—because _God_, your Aunt is so ill, and your grades are collapsing and you miss Fred so much and it all comes down on you—and he was there and it was raining and you were sobbing and he was comforting you because he knows you more than anyone else—

And then you were kissing him and it was as though Teddy didn't even exist anymore, like Teddy was just another figure in a world full of statistics that don't even _matter_. And so you kissed him and you knew it was wrong.

Of course it was wrong.

But you did it anyway.

(And it was okay, because Neville kissed you back)

.

But you don't know.

Because don't you love Teddy? Isn't he the one who was there for you from the beginning—you've known him since the two of you were kids! Don't you remember laughing and playing with him and spinning round in circles until you just collapsed together and kissed until the sun went down?

Does all of that—every single moment that the two of you shared—mean nothing now?

Is everything that the two of you shared completely irrelevant if you choose Neville over Teddy?

And why are you even taking Neville into account? He's hardly younger than your father—the same age as Harry and Ron—how can you even think about being with him?

And he's your teacher and it's just wrong. You can't be with him.

Your head tells you that again and again and again and it's almost screaming at you because he's your teacher, for crying out loud, but you can't help but think—

You can't help but wonder if, possibly if—

If maybe you and Neville could work.

But it's just too many questions in your mind and so you block it all out with alcohol and Slytherin guys who care more about your body and your family than you and standing on the edge of the Astronomy Tower and not really minding if you fall off.

It occurs to you that you're being childish. Taking yourself away from the problem when you know that what you're doing is only going to make things worse, in the end.

Because instead of it just being Teddy and Neville there are other guys there too—

And you don't feel anything for them but they're mixing in the equation and messing things up and making you wonder if your head is spinning round from the questions or the alcohol or the names and faces of the boys who've tried to get you in their bed that night.

And, really, you think it's a mix of all three.

And really, you just want to fall back into his arms and feel his lips on yours and his arms wrap around you and the rain fall _downdowndown_ on you but you won't care you wouldn't because it's _him _and everything is okay when you're with him.

And it's not Teddy that you're thinking about.

It's Neville.

And in the back of your mind it's playing to you _NevilleNevilleNeville _and you almost want to run to him, find him, wherever he is and just let him wrap his arms around you and kiss your tears away and brush your hair out of your face and look you right in the eyes and tell you that it's going to be okay.

So you realise.

And suddenly it's so blindingly obvious that it's him—that's it's always been him.

It's going to be hard. Because no one is going to support you with this, you know it. Maybe they'll see that you love him but no one will encourage you to be with him.

But Neville will. He'll be there for you and brush the tears away from your eyes and hold you in the pouring rain and not care about how much of a mess you look. He'll be the one that sees you for who you really are and not as just a Weasley part-veela, like so many people do.

You love him.

(You love him)

You love him.


End file.
